Love Letter from a Marketing Manager to His Love Interest

I dont know if you guys will like it but I did found it amusing as I wrote it down. Hope some marketing lover chic falls for it.

Dearest Consumer of My Love,
My happiness has no bounds, ever since you have successfully endorsed my product of love. You have not only helped me achieve me the required consumer penetration level but also given me the assurance that my love as a product is amongst the most superior ones available in the market. As you are a new user to this exotic product, I would further like to highlight that I would from time to time come out with new campaigns both above the line and below the line (metaphorically and literally) to make sure that you remain a valuable patron of my product. My product comes with a lifetime guarantee of assured service in terms of care and affection and we do not intend to take the product out of the market after a desired trial run in this relatively unexplored market. The product promises you to provide you with excellent after sales service and loyalty points which can be availed at regular intervals in terms of goodies like chocolates, dresses, jewellery and other products depending upon the number of love coupons that you have accumulated. You will also be provided with excellent benefits which will make you realize that the previous products that you used were of inferior quality, however since my product is a marked at a premier price, I would appreciate that you take good care of it by regularly servicing it with your feminine affection. I hope that you are enjoying the experience and you would continue with my product for a lifetime. You are free to call my toll free number 1800-LOVE-YOU-FOREVER for 24X7 service.

Yours Lovingly
An Anonymous Brand Manager